Is discipline in Nigeria all it’s cracked up to be?


The way we tout this our method of discipline in Nigeria ehn? Any time Nigerian parents abroad complain about how unruly and undisciplined their kids are, you would some aproko Nigerian based parents/people with suggestions and accusations. They will say “they didn’t train them well, they should send them back to Nigeria to live with a relation or grandma, and they will chop slap or cane yadda yaddda ydadda.

The funny thing is most of these counsellors and advisers have the worst kids on the planet that were raised in Nigeria so I wonder what they are talking about.

People get spoilt every second here also even with all the slaps and beating, kids are gonna do what they’re gonna do. It has nothing to do with the location or the way you beat or slap them.

My half German cousin was brought to Nigeria for the first time in 2009, he was a 13 year old kid with problems and he got kicked out of school in Germany. Aproko people say no be one person dey train pickin so they suggested to my uncle to bring him to Nigeria for proper training (osheeey community of trainers, cause the ones wey dey here una don train them finish).

He, of course, didn’t like Nigeria one bit and found Lagos to be a different planet altogether so… did his attitude improve? No.

I found him to be too wild at 13 to be honest but he was really good looking and looked older than 13. He would tell me about his 15 year old girlfriend back in Germany, and his stories about their sex life left me praying not to lose my salvation cause of the things I carry my ear dey hear a lot of times.

And dear God, he was frustratingly lazy and always hungry (always as in almost every hour, something, preferably junk food had to be in his mouth. Na so dem dey chop for Obodo Oyibo?)

Relatives he was left with of course had their own lives to live so whenever they had to go to work he was left with a male house help who came from Delinquent Republic. That one wey don spoil finish just added fuel to the already blazing fire.

They would go drinking and visit brothels, and just fooled around generally. It was not a funny something and any attempts to flog him was a telenovela on its own.

You, the flogger, would end up exhausted after chasing him around without even landing a single lash on him (yes, it happened to me too) and he, the flogee, would have fun running around and laughing at you while you’re super frustrated at his behaviour.

He stayed in Nigeria for a year and a half before his father decided to let him come back to Germany where he continued being as naughty as he originally was and I also heard he was so annoyed by the trip to Nigeria he said his extra bad behaviour was payback.

The point of this entire epistle is, pickin wey wan spoil go spoil and the one wey wan good go good.

It’s not about the location, it’s about how as a parent you raise them, and correct with love when they err.

Even when you do your best, sometimes they will still misbehave.

You still have to find a method of discipline that works for you. Taking them to the middle of the Amazon to stay with ancestors will not make any change in a child who doesn’t want change.

And the aproko people forming they can train the kids here will only use them as free help and their own kids usually aren’t any better (children no spoil well well for this same country under “community training” abi I dey lie?) but of course there are exceptions.

Raise your kids by yourself biko where you can see them and not one person in one place telling you they can instil African discipline in them.

If that were the case, there would be no bad person in Nigeria. Violence is not always the answer. Me sef I spoil hehehehehe.

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