I was here minding my business o, that’s how I saw an article stating that Karaoke (Karrueche) Tran, Chris Brown’s ex girlfriend was coming to Nigeria to…attend a pool party. Yes. People will put you on a flight to come and wear bikini at a swimming pool, then after, you can leave again. Because one time like that you made sexy time with Chris Brown.
Apparently, Play Apparel Nigeria are doing a pool party to launch their…you know what? I have no idea what the pool party is for. Because I can’t seem to find a functioning website.
Anyway, they held a high-powered meeting in Abuja (I presume) where the CEO said:
So, we’re having this high profile party and we need to fly in some celebrities to raise the status of the event. To make people feel like this is the ONLY place to be in the entire country the weekend of the event.
We will need someone who is obviously exotic, but also with an air of Black pride about them. Someone whom the Nigerian public will instantly recognise and resonate with. Someone whose milkshakes will bring all the boys to the yard and whose beauty will make all the inspire the girls in a non-threatening way.
Perhaps a renowned model? Or musician? C’mon guys! Think! Your jobs depend on this!
And then some bright spark (probably the mail room guy) says “You pipo should just hire Kerfuffle once and for all”
And the church said amen.
Because nothing says “Come buy our product!” than the girl who was the stop gap between Rihanna and baby mama. But, y’know…do you, Play Apparel. Do you.
And now I will put a random picture of a giraffe being mental since I will neither promote Kumbayah nor Play Apparel because, once again, they have no website! Budget gone on airline tickets and white bikinis.
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