To kneel or not to kneel? A lot of people seem to be up in arms again about something. This time it’s the lady who knelt for her husband. Now most of you know I fight for women’s rights constantly, so take it from me; that act didn’t look fake, forced and neither does it connote suffering and evil.
I’ve always said that some people see stuff they would fail in or not bother to try with, and say everyone is like them. They do it for many reasons but in the end it is to make themselves feel good and comfortable.
So, a cheat would say all men cheat or a rude woman will say all women are foul mouthed. Bollocks!
Same way, a woman who won’t or can’t kneel to show gratitude will say anyone who does it is faking. that’s just a simple reality. How do you know it is fake or forced? Do you know them? Please sit down and mind your own issues.
Some people said it doesn’t connote humility or good character, as anyone can pretend to do that or be forced to and do evil at home or at least think it. Yes, that’s true. Very true. It however doesn’t mean it also could not be that woman’s own way to show those two things to her husband. You’re not her.
Mind who you listen to before you destroy your own relationship or marriage. Do what works for both of you, while considering the information people feed you. Be sure it makes sense. Some people are just bitter confused children. If a woman wants to kneel, how does it affect you? Is it your husband or your knees?
One of the great things about spending years counselling, is getting a good feel of the diverse ways couples interact. Allow me to give a few examples – with permission, of course.
- One lady says unless she’s tired or busy, whenever her man comes home, she doesn’t let him undress himself. Aside from liking the getting busy sometimes while she helps him take off his clothes, she says she just likes the smell of him and the lingering hugs and kisses they share when he gets home. She cant help herself and obviously he doesn’t complain.
- A lady I know of doesn’t let her man cook. He can clean the house or even wash but she takes personal pride in cooking. She loves it and she loves serving him. It works for them. They are not complaining.
- One guy hates driving. He absolutely hates it! Most times, when he and his babe go out, he hands her the keys. Don’t laugh, I’m dead serious. As fate would have it, she loves to drive (especially when it’s his car) so it works well for them.*
She now actually drives that thing more than he does! They are getting married this year. Driving car has not destroyed their marriage plans, has it? If na some people, e for don reach posting for Twitter or relationship advisers for Facebook.
Would it not be foolish for me to attack him and say he is weak or wicked for allowing her drive and not him? And yet that’s what many would do. It’s ridiculous. There are exceptions to practically every rule. What works for you won’t necessarily work for another. Not everything is black and white!
See, the fight for women’s liberation is real. Gender equality is important. What makes no sense is when you turn yourself or others into a Bridezilla and start fighting men and women over their own personal choices of how to run their homes when no one is suffering or dying for it.
Feminism is not about uprooting the joy and peace of unions. It’s about fighting for the ones who are oppressed.
Some ladies are love-deprived, honestly. When they see love that will turn their heads, all this grammar online will stop, maka Chukwu. I assure you that when some of you get hooked with a man who carried your matter like Jumoke carried that bread of destiny, you will even prostrate.
I saw a funny comment yesterday that only good sex can turn a woman’s head. Dey there. Una never chi chum chin. You’ve not seen women go weak at the knees over generosity or poems from men.
Go and ask women whose men wrote their business proposals, bought them cars, paid for their tuition etc all out of love and expecting nothing in return. Go and ask about men who will now sneeze and the woman will call twelve pastors and sixteen brain surgeons to check the man because if that man dies of cold, she will sue God and the devil.
I’ve seen women who jokingly told me they said they would never cook for a man nor wash his clothes or anything, but after seeing all the man did for them, they were even begging him to buy bowl so they can start washing!
Now remember that this is coming from me, a person who is always telling ladies to avoid men who demand they do domestic work and give sex to prove they are ripe for marriage. These things happen all the time for a lot of people and those are the ones I tell you folks, I don’t complain about.
The woman CHOSE to do it. At that point it is now an act of love. It is not bad nor a crime. Just because you cannot do it doesn’t mean she shouldn’t. Let her make her own choices!
Is someone getting me here? The woman knelt down. Allow her kneel down na. You remain seated. You’re not complaining and neither is your man. So why are you getting angry?
As for you brothers forming, “this is the way women need to behave,” abeg shift! If after reading all this that’s your own conclusion, you’re high. Everybody has their own ways of loving and cohabiting. Find your own woman that suits yours and free the rest. Are you Solomon? Are you planing to marry them all?
*Dear Future Wife, please take note that I need a designated driver too. Tainks
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