I totally wasn’t going to write about the Toke Makinwa divorce story. Firstly, because gossip. Secondly, because I don’t send neither her nor her fella. Sorry, ex-fella. Finally, is this news? They’d been living apart since forever so I figured that they would get divorced eventually. Isn’t that what people who are no longer married do?
Except I started reading comments from women wondering why she went through the divorce, berating her for taking the very step that every right thinking woman should. So, I had to sigh and power up my laptop to attempt to talk sense to some of these heauxs.
Nigerian women are so used to idle clap backs and tittle-tattle on social media platforms that they no longer know how to be dignified or take steps that secure themselves, their future, their happiness or their money.
Husband travels abroad and marries some akata babe? Tell Linda to blast it on her blog. Ex-wife won’t let new wife see the kids? By all means pop it on your Instagram page. Baby mama drama or dead-beat dad issues? Weep, wail, lament and tell everybody except the person who matters most: your lawyer and your financial advisor.
Nobody gets married hoping to separate. Divorce is hard, bloody hard even if it’s you who opted for it. But once the wound is gaping, cut out anything that is festering or lingering so you may heal faster and sometimes, even end up better than you were before.
Be. About. Your. Money. Ladies. Don’t get mad, get even. Get money. The best revenge is your paper. Secure your life, your child(ren)’s lives, be FLAWLESS, and live the life you were meant to live – a fulfilled, glorious and happy life.
I have no idea what the philandering Mr Ayida does for a living, I hear tell he’s a personal trainer or something. I certainly did not use any of my data to research it, but I have a sneaky suspicion that Toke earns more, and anyway, Pampers and school fees aren’t cheap, so a lot of his income will be tied up for the next few years. That then being the case, it is very important that women face up to the financial, legal and practical aspects of a separation rather than just the emotional part so that they don’t lose altogether.
The rising trend is for women to be earning as much as their male counterparts and in some cases, way, way more, so what is all this weeping and gnashing of teeth for? What is the door left ajar for? Lose your heart by all means, but for goodness’ sake, don’t lose your head.
I have never rated Ms Makinwa. Her before and after picture got me all in a tizzy, her level of narcissism disturbs me no be small, and I don’t find her particularly insightful nor intelligent as a vlogger. But I will say this: she gave us a master class in retaining ones self respect and dignity while going through a difficult time. The only statement she ever made was to continue to be fly.
Get yours, girl, you did awesome!
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