The 10 different kinds of love a Naija babe can have for you

woman flirting with man

These days, when ladies say they love you, it would seem wise to ask which kind/type of love, and I don’t mean real or fake love. It is either love-love or another love. Confused? Let me help you all as usual. I’m good like that 🙂

1. Tomato love: E dey dey normal con sweet oh, bhet wen you wan marry the babe, na dhat thyme she an her family plus community wan chop all de money wey dia ancestors no see for four hundred years. Na wife you dey buy, no be marry you dey marry. You go spend die.

Tomatoes stock
Tomato love – it looks sweet but it haff cost!!!

2. Naira to Dollar/FX love: Dis one no dey ever steady. Na when she wan love you pass anoda pessin or sontin, she go do. Eef she no want, ya own market go fall till next thyme. Dis one dey give heart attack.
Babes wey get tiri or faive boyfren weet special name for phone like “Johny Airtime”, “Okon Groove guy”, “Ikenna gburugburu” and “kasala brokey”, na dem be dis. Just pray say ya own market value go dey high.


3. Travel love: Na when she dey where you dey de love make sense. If she dey travel out of town or to obodo onyibo, ya love don enter voice mail till further notis.

4. Audio love: Dis one you dey hear am for phone bhet you no dey ever see am. Na audio love.

Phone love

5. Chatting love: Na only for WhatsApp she love you. Near de babe for houside. You go chop slap, I swear. Or she wee do; “dur – ur! I don know yiew. I mean like dur – ur! Don’t embayrayse me, yeah?”
She go con shake neck like say she wan manifest water spirit.

6. Landlord love: Na when she need room, hotel or house for herself, friends and family or the real owner na en she dey remember say she love you. You sef be mumu dey provide am.

7. Stomach love: This one love dey arise only when she need food. Dem no dey take food play for dis one front. She for chop you sef bhet na you dey bring de food so God dey save you.

8. Onion love: Na so so cry cry she dey hep you cry. From morning to night. Dry season no fit affect you for dis life when you dey with dis kain geh. You go just keep basin, bucket and tub all over de place. Cry full am, use baff, cook, wash an flush toilet. She is of economic value to you, eziokwu.

friendzone escape

9. Atarodo love: Dis love go pepper you for body. E go be like say na devu send am becorse why? Efritin wey she go dey do na her consyn. She no send you at all!
You give am credit she go call efribody, tell you say e finish den na you go dey call am again. Send am cloth, she go wear am go party an groove till 2am and post pishure. She no go even mention your name.

10. Willie Willie love: Dis love na die. Eef she wan greet you, na so so friend she dey call you. Eef she intoruduce you to her relations na friend you go become. Eef na friend, she go call you brother. If na elderly pessin she go call you cousin.
Even to mention you for status update na wahala. Na “you know yourself” she dey put. E daakun you no get identity oh! You be ghost worker. Abeg resign!

friendzone escape

With these ten points of mine, I hope I have been able to show you the need to ask which type of love you are being offered.
Ngwa bye bye.

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  1. Nah, you know they give as good as they get! Onuora, biko when wee we haff “Different kinds of love Naija man can have for you”? We know that list will reach 65 but you didn’t hear that from us! LOL

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