He who finds a wife

He who finds a wife finds a good thing. This is a Bible passage that a lot of  Christians love quoting when praying for spouse. Proverbs 18:22 has been trending on the lips of so many Christian singles such that you just can’t forget it even if you tried.

He Who Finds A Wife….

Before a finding, shouldn’t there be a Searching? It now doesn’t matter how you’re searching and which avenue you’re searching, your job is to search. Then you’ll find. It worries me that some men would rather pray, then keep expecting the woman to fall from the sky.

Abraham’s servant prayed, then went out there and saw a woman and brought her home to Abraham for Isaac after he’d met her parents. He had something in mind, something definite, and that was a woman with a good heart. If she could fetch him water to drink from the well, and also for his camels, well then, that’s all! No long story! No unnecessary expectations or demands! He was at the right place, with a definite expectation to match his desire.

And when some men go searching, they search in all the wrong places. Very wrong places.

Some are searching for the very wrong reasons yet expect to find rightly. You can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result,  that’s just insanity.

You don’t want a religious girl but you will go to church to look for a wife.  Where are religious people found if not church?

You want a good girl; when you see one, you call her timid.

You want a mature lady, when you see her you say she’s too independent and opinionated.

Wallahi, all those men having weddings every Saturday, you think they’re as confused as you are? If the simple act of searching for a wife is hard for you, how then can you keep her?

Worse are the standards some men desire in a woman:

She should be tall,  fair,  slim,  graduate, working class and 24 years. As in, in which country biko? How many ladies are graduates at this age and working class as well? Has WAEC and JAMB finished frustrating them?

Some men will claim to seek for love, but when they go making up specifications for wife,  all that’s seen is self-centred behaviour, no single trace of love.

When my cousin asked me to help him get a slim girl for marriage, that he doesn’t want a fat lady, I simply referred him to a female cousin of mine who before she had kids was as slim as broom and blew up after two kids. Bros Cousin just smiled and told me I have a funny way of being blunt, but that’s the truth.

Mr. Looking For Wife, when you search, search aright. If what you want is a woman who will share the family economic burden,  concentrate on it and stop making it seem like you’re looking for a wife.

In marriage, the key word is SACRIFICE! She’s pretty and working class, you think other men didn’t see her or there’s a veil your ancestors cast on her to reserve her for your coming? Wake up men, please.

It’s okay to marry a wife who’s pretty and all that. It’s fine to marry a graduate, working class and also from your tribe. No worries!!!! My question is: where then is LOVE in all these things? Where is compatibility?

A slim woman today may get fat after one or two kids, are you going to hate her or fall out of affection with her then? A working class babe may lose her job, what then will happen?

We just need to re-orientate ourselves and know what we want. What happens if the pretty lady is involved in a domestic accident and the beauty goes? She becomes Ugly Betty, right?

Mr. Bachelor, what are you searching for? What do you hope to find? Are you really looking for a wife? You may need to ask yourself deep questions.

Thanks for reading.  Share your thoughts,  comments and suggestions.