MMM madness and mayhem now playing at a Nigerian church near you


I’m tired of Nigerians, wallahi. I had every intention of not talking about church for a while so that I do not look like a complete heathen. But y’all won’t let me be great. You simply had to let this little gem of foolishness and f**kery slip into my consciousness. MMM in church? Whatever next? Shall we simply move in the slot machines and the blackjack tables?

Firstly, MMM is a ponzi scheme. I don’t know how loudly I can say that. I understand that there will be people who do not believe this. Desperate people, some of them graduates, who have spent an eternity looking for a job in that Nigeria. Also, I understand that for as long as it keeps paying out, it is difficult to believe that this will all come crashing down; most likely with a lot of people’s life savings. But hey ho, if you insist on being deaf, dumb and blind…

Secondly, in God’s house though?? Is there not only ONE reason Jesus got angry in the entire story of the Bible? Mind you, look who I’m telling. Their pastors teach them otherwise, so who am I to talk?

And just think of the fertile ground! If Stella catches half of the congregation maga, then she’s set to become very rich very quickly! I’m guessing (hoping) this must be some kind of midweek service and not an actual Sunday sermon. Or just MMM goons renting the hall.

Either way, me, I’m tired. Jesus just needs to come on time and let’s know what we are doing. It is my belief that there will be unlimited jollof, pounded yam and egusi, and ewa Aganyin in heaven, and there will be no calories. I want to partake of all that good stuff. I no longer want to live in a world where I have to actually point out that MMM classes in church IS WRONG.

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