Stop Victim blaming!


“But if you didn’t want him to force himself on you, what were you doing in that house? Did you have to go to that party?”

“Hmm, intelligent question. I hadn’t looked at it through that refreshing, thought-provoking angle.

“I recently watched a footage of a man getting mugged during daytime in Nairobi city. The street was busy, full of people going about their businesses, when a small commotion occurred. People could be seen fearfully running away from the source of the commotion and when they got to what they felt was a safe distance, stopped to watch. Seconds later, a man appeared in the footage holding his victim in a chokehold position while his fellow thugs robbed him of whatever he had, and after the daring muggers were done plundering him they shoved him aside and ran off. People then inched closer, curiously surrounding the poor fellow who was pulling his pants back up to his waist. It looked as though he was laughing off the incident while he spoke to the inquisitive spectators, although he was visibly shaken. I’m not sure I’ve remembered right, my memory has been giving me the silent treatment lately.

“Now, since you are highly gifted in asking the questions that matter, like the questions you’ve just asked, perhaps you’re equally talented at giving settling, conclusive answers? So, tell me this: if that man didn’t want to get robbed (of course, he didn’t), what the hell was he doing in the city? Did he have to use that street? No, really, why the hell wasn’t he omniscient? Why did he let it happen?

“Remember that time you got drugged by a woman you met at a bar? She put something in your drink and you passed out soon after you both entered your car so that you could go to a lodging for some consensual sexual fun, remember? And when you were woken up by the chilly wind a few hours later, on a roadside where she had dumped you, you realised that she had stolen your wallet, your watch, your phone, your…what else did she take? Oh yeah, she took your car too, which had your work laptop and a sizeable bundle of money you were to deposit the following day. Did you ever find that car, by the way? Oh, no, that was awful. You were gutted and depressed for months and that incident pushed you several steps back. You even lost your job shortly afterwards, right? So sad. Lakini you, even you, if you didn’t want to get drugged and robbed, what the hell were you doing in that bar? Did you have to go to that room with her? No, really, why weren’t you omniscient? Why did you let it happen?”

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