The only thing religious bigotry will get us is bloodshed and lost Sallah meat

I was humbly sitting in my house in Kent, UK, and thinking about my life’s decisions. How did I end up at my old age without anybody offering me Sallah meat? Why did I move to a country that nobody is tying ram outside their house? Where is Alhaja Kausarat Balogun, my beloved neighbour who always had guaranteed eran ileya? I was wondering if this was how life should be. Should one human have to deal with bad weather, inconsistent trains and NO ram meat during Eid al-Adha? I said to myself “If I don’t buy ticket and go to Nigeria this time next year, call me anything you like!”

Only for me to find out that there were some Christians who were refusing Sallah meat. Azzin. Refusing roasted, barbecued, hot, sweet ram meat. And not even refusing it in a tactful “I’m sorry, I just had lunch. Maybe some other time” type of way. Apparently, these heathens Christians make a point of collecting the joyful offering and then disposing of it in a manner that the bemused Muslim can see or find out.

So that means that in an office environment, for example, the Muslim will find their Sallah meat in the bin. Or will be sitting outside on their balcony only to see JesusIsLord, the neighbour’s son, walking past with the exact same bowl of food she just took to their house. She will watch in bemused silence as JiL takes the food to another neighbour’s house or worse still, goes to throw it away.

These Godless people Christians claim that their reason for this is based on how the meat is slaughtered. They say that the Muslims slaughter the meat in a certain way that deems it a sacrifice and therefore partaking of it would be tantamount to….I dunno, tantamount to something something sha.

But wait, who do us this thing? Why do people believe that carrying Bible must equate in dropping sense. What would happen if you shared in your Muslim’s brother’s feast or joy? Do you think you would break out in a rash of rakat? Or suddenly wake up one day and find a hijab irredeemably glued to your head? No, seriously. What do you think would happen?

Which do you think God would more likely forgive (assuming one of them is even a sin)? You eating a bit of delicious Sallah meat or your snubbing your brother; your neighbour; your kinsman?

More to the point, which do you think is more likely to lead to ill feeling and war? Do you think the selfsame brother you snub will come to your aid if he sees you in distress? Do you think he will look out for you, your children or your possessions? Why start trouble for no reason at all?

Finally, can you think of anything more inherently African than breaking bread? We share food and drink with people we love. We share with our neighbours, friends and family. Food is offered to guests as soon as they enter our abode. As a matter of fact, refusal to bring out food upon receiving guests or refusal on the guests’ part to accept the food is tantamount to a slap in the face. This was so before Bible or Qur’an was introduced to us, and religion should only spark LOVE, not division.

All of which no pain me reach the fact that I now hear that some Muslims have stopped coming around with Sallah meat. Which kain life?? Do you see what you people have now caused?? Alhaja Balogun, please don’t mind them ooo! I remain loyal to your administration, maami. Sallah meat forever! Whenever I show in Surulere, whether it is Eid or not, please kill ram oooo!

Let me be clear: I do not have a Muslim agenda. I am Christian – born, bred and buttered. The only way I could be more Christian is if I were one of the disciples.

But what is wrong is wrong. You cannot take a gesture of love and turn into into a trigger for war and cover your prejudice with some obscure Biblical leaning. Jesus did not send you message. He dines with EVERYONE.

Don’t be an idiot; for nobody likes an idiot, saith the Lord of hosts. I’m sure this is a Bible verse. Soon as I find it, I’ma holla.