4 things you will learn Living In Naija

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Living In Naija - sleeping policeman

1. Living in Naija will teach you to find the pleasure in pain:

We Nigerians are experts in finding the proverbial pleasure needle in a  thorny haystack. The pressure we live under is enough to drive someone to douse himself in gasoline, strike a match and run around singing “CANT FEEL MY FACE” at the top his lungs, but still not only do we survive under this pressure, we actually thrive.

Now I know this is not always a good thing but still I cannot help but admire the tenacity of the typical Nigerian citizen to make do and carve out some good in a whole lot of twisted.

For example:  On our way to work and stuck in traffic so bad that snails are giving you the Sonic the Hedgehog eye? No problem! Turn on the radio and catch up with our fave shows and tweet the *bleep* out of the situation. Back home from work/school after a long hot day and there is no electricity and no fuel for the generator? No problem! Eat, drink, take a nice cold bath and go to bed thankful that we have a home at all and tweet the *bleep* out of the situation! No matter the challenge, we will find a way. This is madness you say?! Nope

THIS IS NAIJA

2. Living in Naija will teach you to appreciate the little things:

Ah, Life in Naija can be mighty mighty slow. Progress is often at less than a snail’s pace. So much so that you either lose your mind and start learning how to karaoke “The Weekend” while your pants melt away or you learn to appreciate every single baby step in the right direction.

3. Living in Naija will teach you to be self sufficient:

“Ask not what your government can do for you,” says the motivational speaker. Well, we Nigerians usually do not ask because every individual is their OWN local government. Due to a very poor state of governance and industry, the typical Nigerian is in charge of providing his/her own electricity (mostly), water (though this is getting better), transportation and motivation. Now, again, I am aware that this is in no way the ideal situation (leaders have responsibilities to fulfill after all) but I really admire the tenacity of we Nigerians to work things out for themselves. It is a most admirable trait and makes me wonder just WHO was handling the box labeled “Resilience” when God was making us.

4. Living in Naija will teach you to laugh:

Oooohdeladi!! (That’s an old expression from the Robin hood Disney Cartoon of yesteryears by the way. Tch my pop culture references have wrinkles and false teeth)  Do we Nigerians know how to laugh or what?! To be born in Naija is to be immersed in a sea of pure comic material.

If you are an aspiring Comedian, you’ll never run dry of skits and jokes observing Nigerians and our “Nigerianisms”. From a perpetually fibbing Minister of Information and Communication (aptly named by his parents) to the Naira that has been in full on Valentine mode all year (keeps falling for the dollar) to the every day kookiness of our public transport and so much more, life in Naija is a laugh a minute spectacle from the right perspective. Ever wondered why we were once called the “happiest people on earth”? Oh did I mention we have a fibbing information minister? I tell you he be like:

lai mohammed
They see me fibbing! They come swinging! What DO they expect?! My name is Lie Mohammed! Sorry I mean Lai Mohammed!!     Sorry I mean Lai Mohammed!!!       Sorry I mean Lai Mohammed!!!    Sorry I mean Lai Mohammed!!!

(Ahem)

So did I miss anything? To all my Naija people, what lessons have you learned living in Naija. Comment below, and let us know.

God bless you. I shut up now

(All featured images are courtesy Google Images. So don’t sue me please)

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