Cinderella: why did you let your stepmother use your wife material to soak garri??

Sooooooooo a few days ago, my mind went back to that old Classic “Cinderella” (more specifically the Disney animated cartoon) and I found myself thinking…you know one of the horrors of getting older is that you begin to spot some things you never saw before.So anyway I was wondering and I found myself asking questions:

“Cinderella…Cinda..won sepe fun e ni?!! Did they swear hot swear for you??”
“Did they lick agbalumo on top your head?!”

Oya wait…your papa and mama died abi? Ehya I’m sorry o! Pele!

But then after that your step mum and the fugly sisters turn you to house epp.

In your own house.

And you gree?!

Cinda! wash plate! Yes ma!
Cinda! dust house! Yes ma!
Cinda! feed the pepeye! Yes ma!!

You have shown yourself to be a capable cook and housekeeper. The entire mansion na you dey wash, dey scrub, dey sort and it did not occur to you to vex, carry your skills outside and make some money and be your own woman? Tufia!

Ah na wa for you o! Someone really used your destiny to play ayò.

If not that one fairy godmama decided to show up, you for grow old be one 80 year old virgin house epp in your own house! Just too bad.

Speaking of fairy godmamas! Where was that fairygodmama when your parents were dying? Where was she when your step mum began to use your wife material to soak garri? Ehn? I say where was she?!

And when she arrives, she casts a spell to turn una to camouflage as a princess for pata pata 6 hours plus (she couldn’t use her magic to deal with your yeye step mum and those to-look-dem-face-na-to-lose-your-appetite sisters but make we leave dat one) and she gives you glass slippers

GLASS SLIPPERS? BATA GILASI LO FUN EN?!

You dey go ball to get down and boogie and fairygodmama gives you glass slippers to komole in?

Me I don’t know about you o, but I suspect that fairygodmama no like you! She no like you at all!

But that one no be my issue…

My issue na say: So if fairygodmama no show up and dat prince no sight you, na so you go remain dey do professional omo odo for your own house? You dey wait make somebody come rescue you abi?!

You no get leg ba? Beautiful lady with top tier domestic skills. You could probably find work in many places but NO! Na to siddon for house dey wait for knight in shining armour to come and upgrade you.

Upgrade faya!

For those reading this, me I don’t know about you, but atink this is the kind of story you read to your daughters and you tell them:

“See ehn if you no get brain and take charge of yaself, people will use you do cinda!”