(G.O in a business meeting with a man)
G.O: So what is the business you have for us? I hope you know we are not a secular organisation o. Hope what you brought is gospuly? Is Holy Spirit inside?
Businessman: Yes sir. Of course, I don’t want to sound rude by quoting bible passages in your presence, but the business is a clean and biblical business sir.
G.O: OK, tell me.
Businessman: Thank you, sir. This is a business that’ll not only boost the finance of the ministry, it’ll also boost your profile.
G.O: Mr man puh-lease go straight to the point. O ti fe ma su mi o. Ayam getting tired.
Businessman: Sir, this business is simple but a steady money-spinner. It’s a branded anointing oil business sir.
G.O gives a long hiss out of irritation
Businessman: Wait and hear me sir. Don’t dismiss this yet. You have a constant congregation of over 7000 per service, we knew this because we have worshipped with you for six months. What we also noticed is that you do a lot of anointing services but your congregation buy regular oil from supermarkets for those purposes. You can divert this money back in by branding your own oil in this ministry, and making it compulsory for members to buy only the ministry oil!
G.O: Mscheeeew…this is oil for anointing not for cooking or frying. So after their first purchase, do you know how long it’ll take before they buy again?
Businessman: Sir, this is where I cannot teach you your job. You are a senior man in this ministry and you will know how to increase sales. For example sir, we can brand different oil for different deliverances. E.g. oil for prosperity, oil for safety, oil for sound sleep, oil for stubborn child…..
(G.O’s face lights up): I’m feeling you! Yasdeleboska…..haribo!!! In fact we’ll have ones which they don’t apply on their bodies but only smash on the floor. Awon yen ni “fomole oil’ – break the yoke oil…so we’ll then have different yokes oil. So they can buy whichever yoke they want to break and smash it. We’ll also have tudanu oil – pour it away oil. Whatever difficulties you don’t want again, tudanu! Iponju, buy and tudanu!…osi, buy and tudanu!
Businessman: You see why I call you senior man sir? I knew this within the last six months that we have been worshipping with you.
G.O: It’s not me o! All glory be to the One who sent me and bestowed the gift on me.
So how do we go about it?
Businessman: It’s straightforward sir. We only need to agree on the pricing and we sign agreements.
G.O: Ok. For your information, I don’t take decisions alone. We have the board who’ll need to approve this. Me as their speereshua fada will only present it to them from the speereshua angu, we still need do something to appease them. Won yi lori o!
Businessman: Tell me what you expect from us sir.
G.O: Okay. O ja si – your head is there. Right now, we have a project we are about finalising in Italy, and we urgently need $1000 to get some approvals. If you can help the soosi in that aspect, I garanti you that this proposal will scale through.
Businessman: It’s done. I’ll transfer the $1000. That’s not a problem sir. Just let me have the payment details.
G.O: Omoluabi! I’l write it for you now. You just leave the rest with me. Once I get alert, I’ll set up the next meeting.
(G.O opens his fridge and gives the visitor a chilled botu of beer): Take this…abi you don’t se be? You don’t use to do this one?
Biz man: hahaha…. I do sir….I do sir.
(They both clinked botus)
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