Date with a purpose


I see this culture of entering a relationship, and then waiting forever for the guy to bring a ring out of his pocket one day he’s happy to propose as disempowering.

You find yourself spending your life and time trying to prove to someone you’re worth a ring. You cook, clean, dress, makeup, twerk, pray, fast etc. all to prove a point. It ain’t worth it. You should be able to be yourself and at the same time, have an idea what’s going on even though it doesn’t pan out eventually as planned.

I remember telling a bae who used to be bae, “I’m not on some shelf waiting for you to make up your mind about what to do with me”. Dude was exasperated

I’m still pretty traditional though and I believe the man should be the one proposing  unless of course I’m gonna be the leader in the home. (One quality of a leader: he/she takes initiative and is proactive.) I still don’t believe a girl should be the one going down on one knee but she should be able to ask about their purpose/direction of what she in (her relationship).

So what’s the balance? Simple! Define your motive before getting into a relationship.

You’re ready to settle down but you’re getting into a relationship to “see where it will lead” and then when Oga doesn’t propose after 6 months you get all jittery and whiny. Before you know it’s five years and you start crying about how you gave him your life yet no “reward” -a ring.

You wanna settle down in a year’s time, does he? Agreeing to date with a purpose in mind doesn’t mean you must get marry at the end. No, not every relationship must lead to marriage but if you’re still in that position where you’re hoping he thinks you’re the one, I think you’re at a serious disadvantage. Checking each other out should be a mutual thing.

I don’t know about you but I think life is too short to spend it trying to proving yourself to anyone in any capacity. For most people, it continues in marriage and damn, that’s self destructive.

Enjoy your week.

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