It’s such a big deal in Nigeria when a pretty single woman is hustling her ass off and fending for herself .People are actually amazed!
I’m not just talking about those who do white collar jobs (though they apply), I’m also talking about the young ladies who get into the muck and grit of entrepreneurship and earning decent living.
You see pictures splashed across social media of young ladies selling tomatoes, laying bricks, making shoes, owning stores with captions like “Instead of her to sell her body” or “Instead of waiting for men to foot her bills”.
For me it’s worrisome because I feel that should be the norm not the other way round.
No doubt, its a strong stereotype rooted somewhat in stark realities and also certain personal perceptions that pretty ladies are rich men milking factories.
Hell I’ve even had people judge me without knowing my name, and had family judge me without knowing my life’s details.
However Nigerians need to come to the realization that there are young ladies who genuinely want to earn their keep; who want to hustle their ass off and be handed things on merit not special favours.
We may be fewer than the other party but we do exist. I believe we will get there. Someday.
My dream is that someday, “Slay queens” will be the ones with brains and brawn, with vision and a voice, not whitened-skinned ladies who live lifestyles they could never afford on their own.
My dream is that the average Nigerian woman will:
– Live beyond the thought and validation of marriage, childbearing or the opposite sex.
– Aspire for more, dare to do more, actually reach out for more.
– Speak her truth without fear or shame, and refuse to be bullied into silence regardless of what other think or the slut shaming that comes.
– Live above culture, traditions and the limitations of other people’s expectations
– Live above victim mindset: the “he/she/they” did that to me mentality
– Take actual responsibility for making things happen in her life and environment.
– Not care what society, culture or a bunch of faceless people think about her life and personal decisions
– Make healthy decisions coming from a place of self-worth and security in who she is as a human being -above all else.
– Value herself enough to walk away from things and people who threaten her sanity, her well-being, and her sense of purpose.
– Be empowered mentally and financially
– Be bold enough to challenge what she feels is not right – that she’s being subjected to, plus the negative paradigms she’s expected to bow her head to.
– Blaze new trails, become true role models for the next generation of women, become more daring, less fearful, less timid, less intimidate-able, oppress-able and less subjugate-able.
– Sit and discuss politics, science, innovations, business, purpose, generational change, transformation, nation building, personal development, leadership, not just makeup, men, money and victim stories.
– Raise her standards and not lower them for anything or anyone, regardless of the large number of people who fail to meet them.
– Not allow her roles define who she is as a person; or allow people, expectations, society, traditions or even opinions.
I look forward to the day Nigerian women will exhale, so they can truly be whole and live their lives full of strength and purpose: not as victims of other people’s wiles and skewed mindsets.
Until then, cooking hash tags , even though attempting to pass across an important message, will only be a mere joke when all the woman does is live for the man and his validation, as well as society’s and it’s skewed interpretation of feminity.
Ode to the bold and fearless woman
A toast to the strong woman
Hearty cheers to the ones who lives above culture and traditions.
Happy women’s day!
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