Let us raise bold and daring girls


Bold and daring girls

We usually say we raise our daughters better than we do our sons.

I beg to differ.

I know in Nigeria we put too much emphasis on “respect” when its all timidity and subjugation in a different light.

Children cannot confront their parents, wives cannot confront their husbands, church goers cannot confront their pastors and the people cannot confront their leaders!

We see a bowed head as humility and a lowered voice as respect; that is crap in every sense of the word.

I remember being labelled as a black sheep, a defiant in different circles -from family, to school to church- because I refused to conform to the silliness of this behavior.

I ask the questions, especially the hard ones. I don’t “bow my head in shame” as my dad liked to call it. I’m not humble if it means hanging my head and not looking you in the eye when I talk regardless of who you are and what you have. I don’t wring my hands in resignation when you go against me, or tell people “What will I do now?” Or bawl and cry eyes out as I should as a “good woman” instead of asking who I can arrest.

Back to my reason for this post, I think our men are raised better when it comes to the realities of life. Chores really don’t mean jack as they can’t save a life or add value to a person as a whole. If that is what makes a girl child raised better, then I’m not interested in good upbringing.

Why do we teach our sons to be daring, to fight back, take risks, pursue what they want, aspire for leadership positions even in primary school but teach our daughters to sit well, speak well and wait for things to be handed to them?

Why do we teach our boys to earn and our daughters to be given? Why do we teach our boys to invest but our girls to manage?

Why do we teach our boys to confront and challenge but our girls to bear all things and smile?

This is why a lot of women are volcanoes in sheep’s clothing.

Why do we teach our boys to voice out their opinions but our girls to hold it in and say what should be said, which is what people would rather hear?

Dad once said I was too confrontational for a girl when I slapped my brother (sorry again bro) and I asked if it was okay for only my brother to be confrontational.

I once told a girlfriend to go ahead and be a DJ if it so pleases her, today that’s no longer such a biggie. Why do we put caps and limitations on the girls but show the boys that the world is their oyster? A girl can do ANYTHING literally with determination and hard work.

I’ve decided my kids will both learn martial arts, will do all the competitions I can access no matter how cerebral or physical, they will both be taught early to start earning for themselves and latest at 25, male or female should be living independently.

Let’s stop the cycle of timid, self-doubting women by raising bolder, daring girls who believe they can do and be anything their minds can dare to imagine.

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