A letter to my dear future husband

Dear future husband,

I believe you are doing great. I haven’t written you in a while now, because I’ve been busy with the usual hustle. You know we really need to make this money, it’s a very important something.

Just to brush through the bullet points of my previous letters.

1. I will not kneel down to serve you wine on the day of our traditional marriage ceremony, or wedding day.

2. No bride price will be paid on me. I’m not a commodity to be bought. Leave me to my people, I will sort them out.

3. I will retain my surname. I can hyphenate if you want, but definitely not a total deletion of my maiden name.

New additions:

4. All our assets will be acquired as joint ownership. If my money will be in it, my name must be in it. Alternatively, buy yours with your money, and I will buy mine with my money.

5. I will have my separate bedroom. This is very crucial because I will need somewhere I can go to whenever you get me angry, the very place you would come and apologise and win me back. I will lock the door, you will come and knock behind the door, you will beg me, I will forgive you, then we can look forward to the next time you would annoy me, so we can do it all over again.

6. You will be in the delivery or theatre room with me during the birth of our children. You would hold my hands while I push… that’s if I change my mind from CS. And if it is delivery via CS (most likely), you will be right there when they cut me up and bring out our baby. I will NOT go through it alone. We must do it together, they are our children not mine alone, and the children will take your surname after all.

Remember you’ve got some roles to play in the pregnancy and birth of our children, besides just having sex and ejaculating inside of me. The main reason I will choose you as a father to my children, against the option of getting a sperm donor.

You should start reading books about pregnancy. Read about how to cope with a pregnant wife. There are mood swings that sometimes come with pregnancy. You should be ready to take some shit, and some blame for absolutely nothing at all.?. Consider these your own sacrifice for our babies. That’s certainly not too much to ask for, considering the fact that I will be the one carrying the babies in my womb.

Be ready to get me warm milk and juice at nights. Be ready to pamper me even more when I’m pregnant, be ready to cope with my prenatal tantrums.

I’m predicting I will crave onions and crayfish stew, and Chinese king prawn, beef, shrimp, duck, pork, lamb, chicken fried noodles and rice… Chinese or Singapore style, well spiced. You should learn how to cook these, or save up enough money for takeaway and home deliveries. I know I will want to eat all these while WE are pregnant with OUR babies.

I’ve still got so many more things to tell you, dear future husband. I will let them out as the spirit leads???. Till then, keep being you, keep having fun as a single man, but please don’t spend all our money on your girlfriends sha. Remember we’ve got castles to build. We need to save as much money as we can.

Start getting ready for the real deal. I’m planning to enjoy a fling soon, but the next relationship should be with you. I will be ready to meet you by next year, and maybe start a relationship same time next year, if you are a good boy… I’m sure you will be.

Lots of love from your future wife.
Nkechi Bianze ❤?❤