Linda Ikeji, that Hermes bag, and the perils of insecurity

I have a lot of time for Linda Ikeji. Really I do. Doing ANYTHING for eight years, moreso an occupation that neither sleeps nor slumbers, is exhausting and requires a lot of commitment. Even cut and paste na work, mek I no lie you.

The upshot of all of that hard work is money and a lot of it, and I’ll be honest witcha, I ain’t mad at Ms Ikeji. Sheesh, why do you guys think I blog?! Get your paper, boo boo and make it stack. Once you do, spend it on what you like. Everyone is allowed a poison, so I’m not surprised that an ex-model would be interested in fashion and accessories. Do you, honey, you’re allowed.

So imagine my disbelief when I opened my computer yesterday and there were flames coming out of it: Linda had set tongues wagging about a Hermes bag that she had snapped for her Instagram page and folks were getting their knickers in a twist as to whether it was genuine or not.

And worse still? Linda was there arguing with them!

In a bid to show us mere mortals that she had this money, Linda Ikeji started getting her currencies and her calculations all mixed up: spending $14,000 in Sloane Street? Sweetie, everybody knows you cannot buy an ice-cream cone in this country if your money doesn’t have the Queen’s face on it.

Nigerians would take gold, silver and bronze if bad mouth was an Olympic sport, so I don’t need to tell you that they came for her and HARD. Linda got dragged the length and breadth of these interweb streets but she kept right on talking and LOL-ing, snapping picture of buckle upandan like this is Hermes CSI.

The thing is – regardless of how you think Linda made her money, nobody is in any doubt that this young lady does indeed have a lot of dough. And if she had been seen out and about with a Hermes bag, I doubt anyone would have blinked. Even if anyone had the gall to try and start some ish on Twirra like “I saw Linda Ikeji carrying a bag and it didn’t look legit to me,” people would have come for that person and accused them of bad belle because there is no doubt that Linda can afford an original Hermes.

Come to that, even a good fake is bloody expensive. The price would make your eyes water and would put hair on your chest, let me tell you.

The desire to validate oneself through what one owns, what one can buy and how much it all cost is the height of insecurity and I think the intelligent Ms Ikeji would do well to devote her attention to something more worthwhile. Buy as many bags as you want, that is your constitutional right. This desire to tell the rest of us what it cost and where you bought it from is the dysfunction that I don’t quite understand.

As one Tweeter so admirably put it:

Because when only you sit in your house and start snapping pisho of kombod…when the most exotic place you ever go to is your front gate to go and snap some pictures of you in a t-shirt and tight jeans…all you will get from the busy (and jobless) citizens of social media is “No-one sent for you. Get back in your little cupboard until we need you” and they will drag you in the process.

Linda has money. Fact. Linda can buy Hermes. Fact. Linda needs to tell us the price of everything she owns. Foolishness.