Lollipops and your kid


I like that those five or ten-shillings lollipops are a quick and welcome alternative when you go with your child to a shop and they demand for a box of condoms, thinking they may be biscuits. The wrapper, although sweaty and sticky on the inside, is light and tears easily.

But when it comes to the stem of the lollipop, the paper absolutely refuses to budge. You decide to use your teeth, and when you bring the sweet to your mouth, your impatiently waiting child screams in shock and horror thinking that you’re about to eat it. You explain to them that you just want to unwrap it, and they watch you keenly as you go ham on that paper, even accurately mirroring your facial expressions. But your teeth are no match for the kind of glue those imbeciles use when wrapping the candy, and the longer it takes, the more anxious your spawn becomes, and the more annoyed you become with your inability to unwrap a damn lollipop.

Finally, after seeking the help of sharp tools, the young one may inspect the lollipop to ensure that you did not bite it, before greedily putting it in their mouth. Sometimes, they may lick the lollipop just once and decide that they don’t like it, in which case, they may get rid of it by giving it to you, pretending that it’s a gift.

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