Parenthood: 4 things I fear the most about becoming a parent


Am I the only non-parent who worries about what having a child would feel like? Becoming a parent is no joke and I do think about it a lot, as I’m hoping I will be a good mother.

I want two biological children, and I would also like to adopt one, if I agree with my partner/husband.

1. Sleep

Just a few months ago, I made a post about pregnancy. Adding weight is the least of my concerns. I’m most worried about how I will enjoy a good night’s sleep. I sleep flat on my tummy, and that will not be possible beyond my first trimester. My mum has same sleeping position like I do, so I asked her how she managed through all her pregnancies. She said you automatically switched to sleeping on her side in the second trimester, then switch back after birth. “You will not enjoy your sleep as much as you used to do though, especially at the latter stage of pregnancy. But don’t worry, you will be fine,” she said.

Now I’m worried about the midnight cries for breast milk. I spent a couple of nights with my sisters during the first six months of the birth of their children, and neither them nor their husbands enjoyed a proper sleep. Parents practically give up almost everything for their children at some point. And I keep asking myself if I can.

2. Food.

My Dad hardly ever enjoyed his food while we were kids. If my Dad was away and would be back soon, I made sure I didn’t fill my stomach. I always reserved space so I could drag his food with him, especially the meat and fish, and he always shared it with all joy. Now I feel a bit guilty for all the “long throat”.
I like to have my food to myself, how will I cope if my children decide to do me karma for all I did to my Dad? They had better not. ???

3. Alone time

I love to spend time on my own. I enjoy my alone time. Indeed, I could pass for a loner. I know I never gave my parents breathing space. I occupied their personal spaces like it was my birthright. This is another karma I fear. I know children to be needy, and enjoy being around people. Giving you your space is the exact thing they don’t want to do.

4. Sex

Another thing, the days of running around the house naked with my husband, and having sex anywhere in the house will be over as soon as the children come. How will I cope with only bedroom sex? I envisage some boring days ahead. ?

I’ve got a bit of experience with kids: my nieces and nephews. I know how a day with them get me all worn out. I don’t mind that I always had to clean up poo with my bare hands about a million times a day (I got used to the poo cleaning very fast. I’m so proud of myself). But I never had my space, I couldn’t have any good sleep, and they dragged my food like it belonged to them.

In all, I love kids. I love children, and I can’t help it.

How do parents cope?!

Do you give up all this while the kids are still young? I’m afraid of these thoughts. I wish I could do away with them. But I want children, I can’t do away with them, so I’ve got to prepare my mind for them. How can I go through all these things without having the feeling that I’ve stopped living my own life? My career is also something I wouldn’t want to jeopardise in any shape or form.

I want and hope to be able to balance these issues. I’ve never thought of having my cake and still eating it, but this is one stage of my life when I would like to achieve such.

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