Respecting personal boundaries

I have long chosen to respect people’s freewill. Anybody that masquerades as anything in your life just to deprive you of the freedom to make personal choices doesn’t mean you well.

I am a feminist, a devoted one at that. I recognise the equality of rights and persons, irrespective of gender. I am strictly against gender discrimination and privileges. I tell married people to give themselves mutual respect and recognition. Nobody should be deprived of any legitimate right for reasons only for their gender.

I am sold out to this cause but that doesn’t mean I should suddenly become tyrannical. I still respect personal boundaries. It is my duty to tell a woman what rights she has, but I can’t compel her to enforce them. Even as a man I sleep over my rights sometimes. There are situations where I just have to let go. It doesn’t make me foolish. It doesn’t mean I am ignorant. It is what it is- an independent act of the will.

No responsible feminist will dictate to a woman how to run her own home. Most times when I talk about my personal sentiments, I state it clearly that it is for me and I am not demanding anybody to join me.
A woman can be a feminist and still be subservient to her husband. It doesn’t make her less a feminist, as long as she doesn’t impose the doctrine of subservience on other women. I consider it an act of witchcraft for anybody to shame her because of the way she has chosen to run her home.

I am a feminist, but I have personally decided to do more of the tasks at home. That is how I want it. If a woman serves her husband as a slave, and even accept some degree of domestic abuse from him, as long as she is in her right mind and feels it is okay, I don’t think it is right for anybody to mock her. That is her choice. It doesn’t negate her feminist stand. It also may not be Stockholm. I have seen people mock some ladies, who call themselves feminist but still worship the men in their lives. We don’t have to do that.

Feminism is like a continent, just find the spot that takes care of your own needs and stick to it. The freedom it brings is all encompassing. You cannot compel anybody to take hundred percent freedom, if they are kool with twenty percent. Some female feminists still get beaten and cheated on by their male partners. The choice to forgive those men is theirs and nobody should fault them for it.

I have dated a feminist who told me that she won’t allow me to be enter her kitchen to cook. The first time she visited, she expressly warned me not to make anything that she would do the cooking herself. When she came I tried doing some laundry for her, but she refused. We were fighting for who would do chores. Because I preach what I practise it looked odd to me that she wouldn’t allow me do a thing. She was literally serving me. I don’t know how I felt shaa, because I like full partnership. My point is that whatever and however she treated me; the kingly worship she gave to me didn’t change the fact that she is a feminist.

I get irritated when people turn feminism into a debate of who would make custard or wash clothes or breastfeed the baby. Feminism is more than that. Can we stop soiling the ideology with our pedestrian and motor-park narratives.

It deserves better please.