Nobody is worthless. In fact nothing is worthless in life. Even waste isn’t a waste, it can still be converted into something else. Having an understanding that you are not worthless, helps your self esteem. The best self esteem is not dependent on external validation but on internal validation. Learn to affirm your self worth.Discover yourself and you won’t have to expect people to validate you.
Armed with this knowledge, you should never jump into a new relationship after a heartbreak. It is imperative that you undergo some reaffirmation of your self worth before getting involved with someone else.
Please note that heart break isn’t just when somebody breaks up with you. Heartbreak comes when your partner doesn’t treat your well. When he/she takes your feelings for granted- what you call unrequited affection, fidelity, trust, respect, kindness etc. If your partner cheats or abuses you, that is enough to cause heartbreak. Even if you break up the relationship, it doesn’t change the fact that you are heartbroken.
Verbal abuse destroys your self-esteem more than any other form of abuse. If you end such a relationship, you need to spend time alone with yourself. Alone here means emotionally alone.
Get some therapy/emotional rehab and allow your self worth to be restored before going into another relationship.
The importance of this can not be over emphasised. If you go into a new relationship with low self worth, you are going to depend on your new partner to constantly affirm you. Whatever he/she says becomes law to you. You end up enslaving your self more. This lays a foundation for another heartbreak and you would leave this second relationship worse than you did the first one. If you continue that way, it will become a cycle in your life until you seek help and get it. You can’t successfully build a healthy self esteem based on the validation of your partner. You need to build your self esteem based on knowledge of who you are and your worth. By so doing, external validation from a partner would be an addition not a basic.
Avoid rebound relationships, it serves no good. It might feel good but it will surely leave you in a worse state than you were before It is a sure way of making somebody your emotional god and I bet you, that isn’t what you need
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