Wait till you’re married

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This is one statement that I don’t find amusing,  but I also find it empty,  especially when it comes from a supposed married adult to a single person,  mostly singles who are of marriage age when they write about how to sustain a marriage.

As much as it’s understood that the married are experienced in marriage,  being that they are in the system,  it doesn’t mean they are an embodiment of the knowledge and wisdom necessary to keep their marriage going,  if so,  we won’t see the number of divorce cases and troubled spouses gracing our social media timelines seeking counsels from faceless people.

I’ve come to agree that it’s a better view from the outside,  reason being that one can learn from the mistakes of another.
Do I need to die from poison to know it’s lethal? No! All I need is watch someone die of it to know all I need to know.

When marriage is the discourse,  wisdom is needed,  and such wisdom can come from either married or unmarried.

Most singles know so much about making a marriage work,  that one would question their reason for remaining unmarried. The answer is not always far: they understand marriage demands a lot of sacrifice,  hence,  they are waiting for that one who deserves that sacrifice.

Wait Till You’re Married is like telling a student to wait till he gets into the examination hall,  see his examination questions before getting to his read books… Isn’t that interesting?
You don’t prepare for examination in the examination hall or on the examination day,  you prepare before hand…. And that’s how it goes for marriage.

Most people who are finding it hard in their marriages today went into marriage with the mindset of When We Get To The Bridge,  We Shall Cross It, and no, that doesn’t work in marriage.
Majority of people failed to prepare for marriage,  they ignored all need for mental,  psychological,  emotional and social preparations.

What better preparation than observing what’s wrong with the marriages around you,  finding solutions to them and if possible recommending them to those who needs it?

I’ve come to observe that most people who say Wait Until You’re Married are actually those with the most need of counsel,  but because they believe marriage confers on them some sort of supernatural wisdom,  they ignore the kind counsel of an unmarried person.

shhhh-marriage (wait till you're married)

I remember a friend of mine who wanted to end her marriage in the ninth month because of issues she felt were irreconcilable,  I evaluated the complaints she presented and found them not enough grounds for divorce and I made it clear to her that she needs to work on her emotion and stay married…. Today,  she’s celebrating her third anniversary and glad she confided in me,  I am more glad I was able to be honest with her as she needed.

To my fellow unmarried adults,  never wait till you’re married to lend your voice where needed in solving marital issues,  that opinion of yours will surely save one marriage at least.
Where you have a good reason to help a marriage with your counsel,  do well to part with it,  never let the fear of anyone questioning your marital status dim your light.

To my dear married adults,  you have a choice to weight and adopt the counsel of an unmarried person,  or to not accept where you find it foolishness. But don’t be the one to tell them not to contribute where they have the opinion to chip in.
If you ever had an amazing single life,  you’d know that there are lots of single persons who will not make better spouses but will give marriage the flavour it truly deserves,  their single status does not make them stupid in matters of marriage,  it only makes them potential vital tools for better society.

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