7 Things We Would Love To See In 2017!


2017 is upon us, and as always, we come in full of hope and anticipation. We wish each other well and put our best feet forward. We make new year resolutions and try our hardest to keep them – if only for the month of January. But 2016 made us humble!!! True to God, 2016 humbled the heck out of us. We are not as jumpy and confident as we were. But there are still a couple of things we would like for the new year. So…firmly clutching our pearls and hoping for the best, here are the 7 things we want in 2017.

1. An economy we can believe in:

We need an economy we can believe in. A way that the people can make money and live their lives. The answer is not church and it certainly is NOT a Ponzi scheme. We’ve since found out that it isn’t oil and gas either. It might be agriculture, banking, tourism, IT or export, but people need to eat!

2. For America To Get Some “Act-Right”!

I mean…I don’t know how possible this is given the incoming President, but our brothers in the United States are under siege. If it ain’t cop killings, it’s mass shoot-outs at Black Heritage churches. We are constantly undersiege and being treated unfairly. It would be nice to be able to just LIVE.

3. More Celeb Spats and Scandal!

Yeah, you heard me! These celeb fights are vital for our sanity and well-being. Don Jazzy and Olamide started it, and suddenly we understood that they may drive Maybachs, but they’re just as dysfunctional as we are. So here’s to the Tiwa Savages and the Davidos, the Edible Caterings and the By-Force-Bleachers; we pray your mess don’t ever stop. Compared to you, our lives seem pretty put together.

4. Less Funerals! ☹

©Chris Barker | Cover of The Beatles album with celebrities that died in 2016

Sick of it. Sick, quite literally to death of it. If you did not drawing a deep enough breath at any point in 2016, you’d wind up dead. We lost Prince, David Bowie, Muhammad Ali, George Michael and Gene Wilder. And it’s not just the celeb deaths that have shaken us. I have personally attended three funerals this year. Bringing my lifelong funeral attendance count to FOUR. I know some smart Alec will say we have not suffered more than the average number of deaths, but this year has hurt, Goddamnit. It needs to stop. May the souls of all the dearly departed rest in peace.

5. The Year of the Gentlemen

Our favourite gentlemen, clockwise from Top Left: Richard Mofe Damijo, Banky W, Lynxxx, Blossom Chukwujekwu, Hlomla Dandala

Look, we’re not saying it would bring world peace or settle the dispute in the Middle East or nothin’. We’re just saying a little eye candy certainly helps the day go by a little smoother. Just look at these gentlemen! And before some misguided pup comes here to shout the odds about objectification of men, please lean back. There are no pictures of them shirtless or draped ever so casually across a car with their private parts on display. It’s not like we’ve said anything about rubbing on Banky W’s bald head or stroking on Lynxxx’s beard..ahem. Oh, and by the way, don’t Google my boo Hlomla Dandala or follow him on social media. He’s ALL MINE. Thanks for your kind co-operation.

6. Giving Nigeria Back To The Youth Through IT, Technology & Innovation

From the young guys in Computer Village in Lagos to the young brains doing amazing things in technology, the world belongs to the innovative and Nigeria is poised to be at the forefront of that. Zuckerberg did not come to Nigeria because it is a premier tourist destination. He saw the potential, the literal goldmine that are our young minds, and he came on an Enticement Tour. Let’s keep our brain cells for the betterment of the African Continent.


7. For Our Humour and Resilience to Continue!

Somehow, despite it all, we stay laughing. Our wit remains rapier-sharp. Our resilience is like India rubber. Nothing shakes us to the point of hopelessness. We are strong. We are fighters. I would have preferred for our resilience to be used for more positive things, but strength is strength and we are grateful for it.

May this year bring us miles and miles of smiles!


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