Frank Artus, Char Hanssen and the special place in hell reserved for ungrateful debtors

There is nothing worse than an ungrateful debtor. This is not the same as a debtor who cannot pay back. This is about debtors who, after begging and pleading for the money; when it’s time to pay back, they start chatting nonsense.

I once had an uncle who begged me for money. We’re not blood relatives but he lived on the same street as I did and was best friends with my uncle who lived with us. This man used to send me to Mummy Basira with N5 to buy amala, and would then tell me to keep the change.

Imagine bumping into him in London over two decades later! He begged and pleaded for a loan as he had fallen on hard times. I lent him the money on the agreement that he would pay back in instalments. He had just started a new job, so the payment plan was to take six months.

Six months later, I had not received the first payment. My uncle turned rude and belligerent and talked about my lack of home training. The line I will never forget “Even those we are owing millions don’t call to harass us like this!”

Hmmm…my uncle the everlasting debtor.

Frank Artus The Debtor

And so it was that the rumour mill was agog with tales of Frank Artus not being at all credit worthy. Apparently, he borrowed some money from a lady called Char Hanssen and started posting her like he worked at NIPOST.

Finally frustrated and out of options, Char Hanssen publicised a ton of voice recordings from the Nollywood actor as he gave excuse after excuse until finally resorting to insults and mud slinging.

I wasn’t mad at Frank Artus. Bleaching cream don cost and elocution lessons ain’t as cheap as they used to be. Paying back debts is probably not high on his list of things to do.

What annoyed me was the way the Great Unwashed responded to the news. The bottom of Nigeria’s barrel – some at home and others abroad – had opinions about this money cass cass as my Jamaican friends would put it. So far, I have heard:

1. It must be that they are in a love relationship or she was hoping for one, else why would she lend him the money? If that then be the case, why is she now bringing the case to the public after the soup don sour?
2. Her behaviour is despicable! She should have phoned him privately rather than all this noise!
3. Haba, banks lend people money and they don’t take a slot on BBC! Her behaviour is too ridiculous!
4. She’s done her worst! No need for him to pay again!
5. Common €500 is why she is shouting?? Abeg!

Hmmmm….y’all need Jesus. I’ma tell it to you like this: even if his penis was inside my vagina as at the time of needing that load, the second it is agreed that it is a loan, then it is a loan. Since when did sex become collateral? Y’all need to stop.

And as for why banks don’t take out adverts on debtors, it is because they can do you one better. They can jack up your credit. Oh, and €500 might not be a lot, but it’s the whole world when you don’t have it. And when someone comes to your rescue, don’t repay them with fake fo-neh accent and stupid excuses.

We need to stop justifying and allowing nonsense. Lay the blame squarely where it stands. Frank Artus, pay your debt. Nonsense and ebelebor.