If I had indeed spent a denarii or dime for each time I was stopped at Police checkpoints between Ibadan and Akure today, I’d have expended 17 dimes 😡.
Yeah, you heard right, 17 Police checkpoints! That’s excluding one FRSC stop just after Ikire and an Army Checkpoint after Owena-ijesha.
Even if anyone could argue that security can’t really be in surplus especially on a Nigerian road, 17 of it, speckling almost every yard of tar across a distance covered in barely 2 and half hours, is irritating.
Irritating because actually, they ain’t securing nada!
“Bros, how far na, na weekend oh”
“Bros, just buy fuel for us and we let you go”
These were the recurring sentences vomited through lips of most of these men donned in faded black at almost all the checkpoints. At 4 of these stops, they categorically asked that I give them 1,000 naira for fuel, others yapped “just anything, any amount” in request.
So, at 1,000 naira for example, I’d have spent 17k for kwekwe Police because weekend, because fuel? Even Otedollar won’t do that, ambosibosi emi t’ara nkan seriously!!
I didn’t give shishi.
At 15th stop however, (still sounds rankling, 15!!!), the “bellefull” Policeman who was in charge suddenly went ‘nollywood’ on me when I insisted I had no money to give him and his men.
“Open your booth! Where are the papers of this moto?”, he barked fast.
Booth clear, papers complete, yet, but expectedly tho’, the rapscallion went like, “Where is the state police clearance for this moto?”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“You ha hasking me wosdat? Emi ni wosdat? H’okay now, We sha ci!”, he retorted.
Holding on to my papers, he walked away, and in my mind, I was like, “abi life is doing this one?”
Thankfully, MTN was indeed everywhere you go, so I picked my phone and dialed the Nigeria Police Force Customer Care number. It was picked immediately and I reported the guttural policeman to the voice on the other side. In fact, I was impressed!
The recipient of my call unbeknownst to him, this belly-first policeman kept ranting, saying stuff like, “if you like, call Boohari”.
“Give the phone to the officer in the charge”, the voice requested, after asking me if my papers were indeed complete.
I did, and a potpourri of hot yes-sirs made way through the mouth of our friend as the customer care Rep apparently reprimanded him.
“Take your papers and go”, he uttered afterwards from his now careening poise.
I still met two more Police checkpoints before I berthed in Akure.
Security on a high road shouldn’t be this easily mistaken and/or misrepresented as a menace. Anyone who knows Oga IG of Police should tag him, he needs to do something to stop this yeye oshisco thing.
Yes, the Nigerian Police force do have a customer care line. I also got to know about it through a friend, and so far, I’ve used them twice without regretting it. I salute them on this. Here are the numbers > 0805 700 0002, 0805 700 0001, 0805 700 0003.
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