Hey there, pretty lady! Wow you look smashing in that dress
Tell me, you beautiful creature, you! Are you in any form of distress?
Are you in pain or peril or in a lot of both?
Do you feel your life at a standstill? Many years, little growth?
You could do with a rescue! And lo and behold, here am I!!!
What’s my name you ask? Why! I am Sir Nice Guy!!
(Cue the hero music)
With my trusty pedestal, I’ll be sure to elevate you!
With a heart so ‘giving’, I’ll liberate and transform you!!
I’ll be there at your every low and point of need
Another like I you’ll never find. A friend! A friend indeed!!!
And when you fall in love with me
(As it is only proper that you do, you see)
I’ll be your everything, your length, breadth and more
I’ll adore you long time and leave you nice and love sore
So don’t think darling, at every pinch just run to daddy!!
Your every problem is mine to solve. I love you so so madly!!
You won’t have to lift a finger baby! Just leave it all to me!
Do be sure to run every decision by me first. I’ll be hurt if you don’t (and you do kind of owe me)
And don’t skimp on the applause sweetie. Your adoration is much needed my dear
Deify me if you will. Pour those praises without a care!!
I am your nice guy honey!! I am all yours my sweet mistress!!
So keep me close or lose me and find no one else to care in your distress
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