Couple: A man earns N100k and a woman earns N500k. One has to give up the job to look after the children.
Advice from a typical Nigerian: The man is the provider, he should be the one working. If he gives up the job, the wife may become pompous and rub it on him when they fight.
Intending couple: A woman has a 6-bedroom mansion (bought and fully paid for NOT renting) and a man is renting a 2-bedroom house. After wedding, who should move in with the other?
Advice from a typical Nigerian: The man might not be comfortable moving into a woman’s apartment. Let the woman rent out her mansion and move into the rented 2-bedroom apartment paid for by the husband. He is a good man who likes to take responsibility.
A hardworking single woman drives the latest Jeep worth over N10million, lives in her apartment, and owns her house.
Opinion from a typical Nigerian: She is too successful, she won’t find a husband. Men are scared of flashy women, and she might be too proud to submit.
In the above three situations, it’s the society massaging and protecting the male ego.
Of course, a man is allowed to be proud with over-bloated ego, it’s ok. But a woman is not allowed to be too successful, because she will pierce the man’s fragile ego.
Whatever a woman does, she must be lower than a man so that the man will not feel threatened.
This is how the Nigerian society groomed men, most of whom are seriously threatened by the realization that a woman is in any way better than they are. Men with fragile egos, whose self-esteems depend on their superiority (Sometimes illusioned) over women.
Somehow, we make it look like it is a crime or a malfunction for a woman to be successful.
If you are a successful woman, your life must be perfect, and this includes the societal definition of perfection. Because if anything goes wrong like it sometimes does in everyone’s life, it would be because you were too ambitious. Even if your child has measles, Nigerians will still say it’s your fault, you put career over family, that’s why your child has measles.
If a Nigerian interviewer interviews two successful CEOs (a man and a woman) who are Billionaires, the questions and accolades will take different patterns.
The man’s questions will be focused on his academic, career and business achievements, while the woman’s questions would be mainly focused on things like how she cooks and pounds yam for her husband, how she takes care of the children, and how she manages to combine career with hand-washing her husband’s pants and boxers.
In Nigeria, if a woman’s success doesn’t revolve around a man, it is not valid….. totally useless!
This world is not my home.
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