Be a friend indeed


Be a friend indeed

Please check up on your friends. The ones that are depressed and withdrawn.

Don’t send them angry texts complaining about how they’ve been ignoring you and how they’re being unfair to you blah blah yadda yadda. While you’re busy making it about you, they could be on the point of suicide.

So instead, pay them a visit. A genuine visit. Do not take your fake care and concern to a person who’s having emotional and psychological afflictions. Do not go to them because you’re looking for good fodder for gossip. Do not ask them to tell you what’s going on if you will discuss it with your other friends on that WhatsApp group. Just stay the hell away if you don’t really care about them But if you truly do, visit that friend.

If possible, bring them something. It doesn’t have to be big. Something as small as a nice custom-made phone cover (perhaps in their favourite colour) could make them smile. If they refuse your visit, do not insist. Give them a tight hug and assure them that you will be available in case they change their mind.

If they let you in, make them a nice lunch even though they’ll barely eat. Clean the dishes for them afterwards. Don’t force conversation if they don’t talk much. Don’t try to be a therapist/counsellor by trying to ‘fix’ them, and giving them (unsolicited) advice about what they should(‘nt) do. Don’t tell them stupid stuff like “cheer up” or “you have a good life, you have nothing to be depressed about” or “some people have it worse” or “happiness is a choice”. Don’t tell them such dumb stuff. It will make them feel worse and make you look like an ass. Instead, just listen to them. And SHOW them that you care, and that they are not alone. Show up for them, and come through for them, whether they ask you to or not. and let them see and know that if ever a time will come when they will need someone, your name will be the first thing to pop up in their mind. You can sit or lay there together in silence watching their favourite TV show, and when it’s time to leave, don’t say “goodbye”, say “see you again tomorrow/very soon”.

Check up on your other friends as well. The ones that are jolly and loud and outgoing and fun and have their lives together. They could be having it just as tough, only that they are excellent at hiding it. You’ll be surprised how many ‘happy’ people are suffering in private.

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