After eight weeks of near suicidal and maniacal driving on the streets of the Atlantic City of Eko ilê, I was already bored and irritated the way Mòmò Fela was stopping at every traffic light and allowing every Tom, Dick and Harry to ràmòtà in front of her car. And even Larry kpà kpà.
So this afternoon, I decided to take a spin in my jalopy and get back in the driving groove. Yes ke!
I first set my stereo and slotted in my Woju Remix™ CD by Kiss Daniel. Then I moved.
Ol’ boy, I never even reach junction of my street before I meet first commotion: there was a big lorry right in front of me!
“Oi! You crazy? Move out of my way!!” I fumed at the yellow toothed truck driver.
” You are the mad one, you punk!!” he yelled back, his face turning red with rage.
I was just about to let fly with some Ojuèlègbá expletives, when I noticed from the corner of my eyes that my short-skirted sexy South African neighbour at No 80 had stepped out, on hearing the commotion.
♫ Baby sweet, baby nice, mà woju o!!♫ waltzed out of my car window as my hungry eyes took in the flimsy see-through kaftan blouse and heaving 42″ chest at a swift glance, momentarily forgetting the commotion in front of me.
I flashed a quick glance in my rear mirror to make sure that Amèbo Mama Fela was not peeking from the bedroom window as I stepped out of the car with my best Eddie Murphy smile…….
“Hi darling,” I cooed, “so sorry bout this, this stupid truck driver is just messing about. I will sort the fool out now,” I growled in my tough baritone macho voice, trying to look mean and badddddd.
I was almost in cloud 9 when she rasped in that familiar soft voice, “Oooooh it’s cool darling, I know you’ve been away to Africa for a while. I missed your presence on the street, I’m sooooooo glad you back” .
As I turned triumphantly to give the bloody truck driver the ‘up yours’ middle finger, and send him on his way, I heard the bombshell:
“Sweetie, maybe you ought to move your car for the gentleman, you are actually driving on the wrong side of the road. This is London honey.”
To be continued……too embarrassed to proceed.
Peek preview: Mama Fela : (from bedroom window) “abeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!”
Mazi abe “godwin”idris © copyright reserved 2015
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